A Wedding at the Comfort Food Cafe by Debbie Johnson

Author:Debbie Johnson
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780008258894
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2019-01-18T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 16

I soon realise that that is one of the most stupid phrases ever invented by humankind. I mean, who actually knows what the back of their hand looks like? Not me, that’s for sure.

After angry-walking for twenty minutes, I also realise that I’m completely lost. I’m crying, and I’m tired, and I have a nasty scratch on my cheek from a vicious and totally unprovoked attack by a bramble bush. I keep swiping the tears and the blood away, and keep marching, convinced that I’ll soon emerge from the wilderness.

After the best part of an hour, I’m starting to think that I never will. That I’ll be like one of those old soldiers you read about, who live wild in the hills and think they’re still at war decades after a peace treaty, sleeping under the stars with a billy can and a machete.

My phone is no use at all, either flickering in and out of signal range or displaying a map made entirely of green. In the end I use it as a torch, helping me pick my way through the treacherous tree roots and through thickets of fern.

Eventually, I reach the pond. Willow’s sex pond. This, at least, I recognise – though even then it takes me another half an hour to make it back to Briarwood. By the time I emerge onto the gravel pathway, I’m drenched in sweat and ready to climb into my van and sleep for a thousand years.

I am, however, at the very least a lot calmer. Maybe the whole back-to-nature thing was cathartic – it gave me time to have a weep, do some swearing, kick some innocent tree trunks, and come to the conclusion that although life is hard and often sucks, it’s all the better for the thought of a hot shower and a slice of cake.

I walk towards my van in the now mainly dark evening shade, and see that Finn’s lights are on. I stand still for a moment or two, then shrug and walk towards the house. I need to be a grown-up – and also to use the toilet.

I push open the door to Briarwood, and make my way along the corridor to his apartment. I can hear the sounds of loud techno music competing with the sound of even louder Nirvana, and laughter and chatter floods from the rooms up the stairs. There’s a slight smell of sulphur on the air, which I put down to one of the inhabitants’ experiments, or possibly a Satanic visitation.

I pause outside Finn’s door, catch my breath, and knock once before opening it. He’s not in his office, but before I can go into his rooms he emerges, looking concerned. His hair is damp but tidy, and he’s barefoot – so at least one of us has had a shower.

‘Auburn,’ he says, sounding relieved. ‘I was just considering coming to look for you. I saw your van still there, and was worried you’d been eaten by wolves or something.

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